I went to a Christian college where sexual activity among coeds was strictly forbidden.  We signed a contract with the school vowing that we would refrain from such activity (along with a host of other taboos).  So when my friend told me he walked in on his roommate having sex with a female student, he was quite shaken up.  He described to me what he saw, and how the two partners were scrambling to get their clothes back on.  Then he said, “They weren’t having sex!  No!  I didn’t see them having sex!”

Many times when we witness something like that, we experience shock and betrayal.  To admit we saw what we saw places us in a position of responsibility.  In my friend’s case, if he acknowledged what he saw, he would then have to ”turn in” his roommate, knowing his roommate would be thrown out of the college.  If only his roommate hadn’t done what he did, then my friend wouldn’t have to take responsbility.  My friend (and the college) had been betrayed by his roommate.  Admitting he saw what he saw meant he would have to admit his roommate betrayed him, and the institution he believed in.

The same thing happens to innocent bystanders in a church where clergy sexual abuse happens.  Other staff members, church leaders, and congregation members might sense something is wrong.  They may even be eyewitnesses to the assaults.  I’m reminded of a church elder who literally walked in as the pastor was sexually assaulting one of his victims.   The elder didn’t do anything, and I wondered why.

We all want to believe that Christians, especially at “our” church are good people.  So when we see the pastor (or other respected church leader) doing something so heinous and unthinkable as sexual abuse, it’s hard to believe.  We go into a state of shock riddled with betrayal.  If we admit we saw what we saw, it places us in a position to take responsibility.  We have to admit we were betrayed: the “good” people and the “good” institution to whom we vowed allegiance are not so “good” after all.

Maybe that’s why God hates sexual sins so much.  It’s not just the “sin” of a very sick sexual predator.  It doesn’t just harm the victim(s)–harm that is far reaching, and takes years to undo.  It also affects others in their belief that the world is a safe place, that we can trust others to be who they say they are.  When it comes to a pastor sexual predator, many people relate God to the pastor perpetrator, thus preventing innocent bystanders from trusting God.   It could take years for any person affected by clergy sexual abuse to regain the ability to trust the church, or even God. 

Did the church betray us?  Yes and no.  No, I’m sure church leaders aren’t seeking to put sex offenders in their pulpits.  But many times, when witnesses come forward to report sexual abuse, the witnesses aren’t believed, or very little action is taken–if any.   So, yes, there are times when the church betrays us by covering up, and “protecting” the pastor perpetrators for whatever their reason.

Has God betrayed us?  No.  The one ultimately responsible is a crazed narcissistic psychopath, not God.  God does not betray His own; but rather loves His children. 

The statistics regarding clergy sexual abuse today are staggering.  Kathryn Flynn reports in her book, The Sexual Abuse of Women by Members of the Clergy, that the number of clergy sexual predators is as high as 37%.  That’s astounding.  That’s more than 1 in 3 pastors!

We need not be so much in shock when we witness the unthinkable.  It’s likely that any Christian who is involved in church will become a witness to clergy sexual abuse.  Did we really see what we just saw?  We probably did!  Admitting it is the first step in preventing clergy sexual abuse.

“Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words…”

Words are important.  Words can make or break a man, woman or child.   Words can tear down.   Words can build up.  They can have a negative effect.  They can have a positive effect.   It is up to the speaker to decide how his or her words will be delivered, and for what purpose. 

When it was found out that the pastor of my church was sexually assaulting several women at my church, the elder board became afraid.  They were afraid if the congregation knew the truth, many in the congregation would leave the church, and the church would fold.  The elders were faced with a dilemma, and a decision.   What would they say to the congregation?   How could they possibly explain what happened?  How could they save face in light of the fact they did nothing about the evil that had been lurking right under their noses for many years?   

The elders could have told the truth.  Yes, it would have been embarrassing.  Yes, it would have been hard to explain, not only to the congregation, but to the pastor’s wife and family…something they haven’t done to this day!  But I believe had they told the truth, the congregation, and the pastor’s family, and the victims, all would have had a greater chance to heal.  The evil of the sexual abuse would have ended, and the perpetrating pastor would have had the chance to be held accountable for his terrible deeds.  God honors truth.  God would have worked things out for the best–for the church, the elders, the congregants, the victims, the pastor’s family, and even the pastor.

Unfortunately, the elders decided to “speak evil.”  Rather than tell the truth–that several victims of the pastor had come forward to complain of being sexually abused by the pastor–the elders made up a “cover up” lie.  They felt a lie would be easier for the congregation to hear than the truth.   They announced the pastor had confessed to “sexual impropriety” with “one woman.”  Even their lie was outrageous; as if that were a “lesser” offense than what really happened.  As truth has a way of doing–coming up to the surface–they’ve had to modify their lie because their lie doesn’t fit the truth. 

As a result, many families left the church–some never to return to any church.  Two-thirds of the congregation left.  Those who remained are still under the lies of the elders.  And even though many new people have joined the church since the split, the church remains with lies at its foundation.  The elders think they “pulled it off.”  “What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.”  The elders replaced the firm foundation of their church (God’s word) with a tangled web of deceit.  God cannot honor a church built on lies; it’s against his character.  

What can anyone learn from what happened?  Speaking evil (lies) causes harm.  It tears down.  But speaking truth–though painful at times–gives opportunity for healing and building up.  It brings hope.   It restores joy and peace, not only between brothers and sisters, but with God himself.

May we all choose to speak the truth, even if it means we will be humbled, because in doing so we will be honoring God.  In return, God will honor those who tell the truth.

I close with these thoughts from King Solomon:

“A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness” (Prov. 15:1,2).

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life” (Prov. 15:4).

“An evildoer gives heed to false lips; a liar listens eagerly to a spiteful tongue” (Prov. 17:4).

“He who has a deceitful heart finds no good, And he who has a perverse tongue falls into evil” (Prov. 17:20).

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21).

“See no evil.”  Evil is a hard thing to see, yet we turn our television sets on, or watch U-Tube, and see violence before our eyes repeatedly.  We’re drawn to the CSI series because “we love too see crimes solved,” but don’t even realize how much violence is contained in those shows.  People flock to the movie theater to see the latest action drama; many times to see the chase scene or the fight scenes.  No matter where we are in society–rich, poor, middle-class, in every ethnicity–violence and evil surround us, coming in many forms, and we see it every day. 

So, what does it mean to “see no evil”?  How can our eyes, even if innocent, avoid looking upon evil?

The wise saying has a double meaning.  Don’t look upon evil to participate in it, and don’t look upon evil because it could taint your soul.  Many soldiers coming home from war could tell of the terrible atrocities they experienced in battle, things they saw.  It wrenches the soul, attacking the belief system for all that is good and right.  Clergy sexual abuse victims see evil–not only in the way they were abused by the perpetrator, but too often by the way church leaders collude against them as they courageously try to hold their perpetrators accountable for unspeakable acts.  Survivors of domestic violence experience evil in a place that should be safe by perpetrators who often hide their evil well.

Perhaps we shouldn’t say “see no evil.”  We can’t help but see it; and we all do.  The real question is what will you do with evil once you see it?  I’m not talking about what we watch on a screen via the movie theater, or television, or computer.  (Although we could write letters asking these venues to tone it down.)  I’m talking about the kind of evil that we personally experience, whether it be knowing our neighbors are fighting, and we can hear the screams of the wife and child; or knowing a soldier who has come home from the war disillusioned about life; or knowing of a clergy sexual abuse situation either in our own church, or a church we’ve heard of facing that terrible issue.  

The Bible tells us to help the helpless (Luke 10:25-37).  In the story of the Good Samartitan, we are not to be like the cowardly priest, or the loathing Levite.  Both of these men, the priest and the Levite, saw what happened.  They saw evil.  Yet they looked the other way.  They passed by and didn’t stop to help.  They went so far as to cross the street to avoid coming close to the man beaten and robbed.  Jesus details what the Samaritan did.  The Samaritan went way out of his way; he went above and beyond the call of duty to help the man overtaken by thieves.  At the end of the story, Jesus asks the lawyer with whom he was speaking, “So which of these three do you think was a neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?”  The lawyer answered, “He who showed mercy on him.”  Then Jesus said, “Go and do likewise.” 

Don’t fool yourself by saying you just looked the other way because you didn’t want to see the evil.  We all have a responsbility to deal with evil and its aftermath.  Overcome evil by doing something about it.  Go above and beyond.  Do all you can do to help.

Since the beginning of time, mankind has been plagued with evil.  In the garden, Eve was tempted by evil; Adam succombed to it.  Throughout history, there have been times of great evil, such as was experienced in the Holocaust.  Evil is something that most of us would like to avoid.  I know I would.   But how can we do that? 

The ancient proverb tells us to “Hear no evil,” and it brings to my mind the notion that if I simply shut my ears, I can avoid evil.  I just won’t “hear” the voice that would tempt so I can live a life of peace.  But my own experience has been that evil finds a way to sneak in, and before I know it, there it is.   Does just not hearing put an end to evil?  Can we just simply tune it out?

Evil is all around us.  It is unavoidable.  Turning on the TV or the radio invites evil into our homes and lives.  Even a wholesome program can be tainted with commercials that carry evil messages. 

Perhaps the proverb should say, “Heed No Evil.”   Do not give evil your attention, but at the same time, pay close attention to the evil around you.  If there is an untolerable source of evil controlling your life, get rid of the source.  Cut it off at the path.  Nip it in the bud. 

Perhaps the proverb should say, “Ward off  evil.”  Take steps to make sure evil doesn’t get in.  The Spiritual lyrics go like this, “Shut de door, keep out de debil; shut de door, keep de debil in the night.”  Make sure your life is safe.  Don’t give evil (and the devil) any chance of breaking in to your life.

But what of evil that infiltrates a society, or a group of people?   Clergy sexual abuse survivors know of a kind of evil that goes unchecked in churches who have not warded off evil.  These religious institutions have thrown caution to the wind to get just the right charismatic man in who they believe will bolster the attendance rolls, and fatten their offering coffers.  The church leaders have played into the hands of God’s ancient foe to the ruin of many lives in the church, not just the survivors of CSA.  Do individuals have a responsibility in cases where evil has crept in to a larger group?

Evil needs to be faced.  Christians and all who are religious, who are striving to live righteous lives, need to “hear no evil”…they need to pay close attention to evil around them, and ward it off.  They need to listen to what is going on around them…listen to those who speak of evil’s harms, and make the choice to do something about it to protect others from being hurt. 

The “invisible children” of Darfur have suffered incredibly at the hands of The Lord’s Army, a detestable group of marauders who steal children in the night to do their bidding.  Several religious groups from across the globe have heard the call of that evil, and have stepped in to provide safe havens for these children, even rescuing some of the children who were kidnapped.  I applaud these groups who have heard of this evil, faced it head on, and took action to stop it. 

We need those in our own country to hear the call of the evil of clergy sexual abuse to take action against it.  There is no place for clergy sexual abuse in any religious institution.  It is an evil that must be dealt with and stopped.    

Earlier this week I blogged about a man, who, being out on bail for alleged sexual assault on minors, stepped into a pulpit last Sunday to preach!  That is clearly one man who has no conscience, but is puffed up with himself, arrogantly mocking God in God’s house.  

By contrast, I heard a sermon from a very brave and courageous clergyman on Sunday morning, a man of conscience.

The title of his sermon was, “In All Things, Bear Witness of God and to Good.”  It was a sermon that shared his own witness to the suffering of his wife who is an incest survivor.  He expounded the importance of tackling domestic violence issues in our country.  He encouraged his congregation to hear the voices of the oppressed, to be courageous in standing up for those who are suffering, and to work for justice on their behalf.

This pastor not only had conscience, but he also exhibited great courage, compassion, and caring.  He exemplified the love of Christ in supporting the oppressed, including sex abuse survivors.  I can only offer my thanks, and say, “Bravo!”  Christ will say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”