New Revised 2009 Edition of  Invisible Girls, the Truth About Sexual Abuse  by Dr. Patti Feuereisen (order information below).

Seal Press (a member of the Perseus Books Group) has just released the revised edition of Invisible Girls, the Truth About Sexual Abuse, by Dr. Patti Feuereisen with Caroline Pincus (first published in 2005).  The release date was set for September of 2009.  Below is my review of this refreshing and affirming publication.

In the new edition of Invisible Girls, Dr. Patti Feuereisen expands on her most comprehensive, in depth, honest look at sexual abuse by including the “voices” of other sexual abuse victims, including girls who were formerly involved in trafficking.   The book is self-described as a “book for teen girls, young women, and everyone who cares about them,” but this book is much more.  It brings Judith Herman’s great work, Trauma & Recovery, to practical life in an easy-to-read format.

By the powerful first-hand stories of real sexual abuse victims, Dr. Feuereisen dispels the myths of sexual abuse, e.g., that “forgiveness” leads to healing, and tells the truth of the awful epidemic plaguing not only families, but our society as a whole.  Dr. Feuereisen explains how Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) develops in abusive families and relationships, and how PTSD works to help the victims survive the abuse.  Dr. Feuereisen’s clear message is repeated over and over:  “It is not your fault. “  There is HOPE, real hope for sexual abuse survivors.   Dr. Feuereisen proclaims the courage and ingenuity of the human spirit to survive sexual abuse.  She is straight-forward, positive, upbeat and lends her own confidence that sexual abuse survivors can thrive. 

This is a book for any survivor of any age of any form of sexual abuse:   incest, one-time rape, date rape, acquaintance rape, inappropriate sexual abuse relationships with coaches, teachers, clergy, bosses.  Her message is clear:  it is not your fault, and there is hope.

I wholeheartedly recommend this book for clergy sexual abuse survivors, whether they were abused as children or adults.  The information will help explain and clarify your feelings, the PTSD you experience, and dismisses many myths about who is to blame, and the recovery process.

As with all books on these issues, the reader, especially a sexual abuse victim or survivor, needs to be warned that reading this book can trigger emotional responses.   Make sure there is support available to you while reading this book.

TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT DR. FEUEREISEN AND HOW TO PURCHASE INVISIBLE GIRLS,  CHECK OUT DR. FEUEREISEN’S WEBSITE:     http://www.girlthrive.com/

After the election last week, I had a discussion with a friend who voted in favor the Proposition 8, the proposition meant to undo the California Supreme Court decision to allow homosexuals to be married.  I asked her, “Why was it important for you to vote yes?” 

She responded with an answer that took me a little by surprise.  I was expecting her to tell me how much she disliked homosexuals, but that wasn’t her answer.  Rather, she said, “What bothers me is that the homosexuals are trying to redefine marriage.  That word has had the same meaning for thousands of years.  I can’t stand it when people change the meaning of words.”

When I heard her answer, it brought to mind another word:  forgiveness.   The Old Testament meaning of forgiveness is very clear.  In the New Testament, when Jesus, Peter, Paul and others spoke of forgiveness, they meant the Old Testament meaning.  Forgiveness is to be granted when the one who did the wrongdoing confesses, repents, and seeks to be forgiven.   The reason for this kind of forgiveness?  So that the relationship which was broken by the offense can be restored.

The apostle Paul also introduced a new concept to be used among believers.  The Greek word is charizomai.  It is translated “forgiveness” in many English translations.  It means to let the offense slide, to forget about the offense.  It’s an act of grace intended to be granted for “minor” offenses and sins (not major sins, especially those involving evil).  What is the purpose for charizomai?  Paul clearly states that Christians are to let minor offenses go to preserve unity and peace within the church.

Around the 1970’s and 1980’s, many Christian psychologists were looking for a way to help their patients who were having difficulty with past abuses (”sins” committed against them involving evil).  They got the idea to just tell their patients to “forgive” their offenders.  (Then the issue arose with incest survivors whose offending fathers had passed away, and their anxiety rose as they struggled with not having the opportunity to confront their dads with what they had done.)   These well-meaning psychologists suggested that if the patient just “forgave” they would get better.  They also suggested that the offending party need not be present for forgiveness to be granted. 

It’s unfortunate they used the word “forgiveness.”  There is a much better approach for accomplishing the task of moving on when you’ve been abused, and it is biblical.  It is the idea of forbearance, which involves longsuffering and patience with another, and allowing God to deal with our offender(s).  But that’s a whole different topic.

I’m not sure how it all emerged, but apparently among some Evangelicals there came a new doctrine of forgiveness.  They called it “letting it go.”   This new doctrine attributes all of the teachings about forgiveness by Jesus and the apostles to “letting it go.”  

After a little research, I found that “letting it go” is a doctrine taken directly from Buddhism.  It isn’t a Christian principal at all!  But even in Buddhism the idea of letting it go is more akin to Paul’s teaching of charizomai, not forgiveness.

I discussed forgiveness and “letting it go” with my friend, and asked why, if us Christians are so upset over California’s Supreme Court changing the meaning of marriage, why aren’t we upset that the meaning of forgiveness has been changed by Evanglicals?  I haven’t heard one Evangelical Christian stand up publicly and speak out against the changing of the meaning of forgiveness.