Speaking Evil…Speaking Truth…
“Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words…”
Words are important. Words can make or break a man, woman or child. Words can tear down. Words can build up. They can have a negative effect. They can have a positive effect. It is up to the speaker to decide how his or her words will be delivered, and for what purpose.
When it was found out that the pastor of my church was sexually assaulting several women at my church, the elder board became afraid. They were afraid if the congregation knew the truth, many in the congregation would leave the church, and the church would fold. The elders were faced with a dilemma, and a decision. What would they say to the congregation? How could they possibly explain what happened? How could they save face in light of the fact they did nothing about the evil that had been lurking right under their noses for many years?
The elders could have told the truth. Yes, it would have been embarrassing. Yes, it would have been hard to explain, not only to the congregation, but to the pastor’s wife and family…something they haven’t done to this day! But I believe had they told the truth, the congregation, and the pastor’s family, and the victims, all would have had a greater chance to heal. The evil of the sexual abuse would have ended, and the perpetrating pastor would have had the chance to be held accountable for his terrible deeds. God honors truth. God would have worked things out for the best–for the church, the elders, the congregants, the victims, the pastor’s family, and even the pastor.
Unfortunately, the elders decided to “speak evil.” Rather than tell the truth–that several victims of the pastor had come forward to complain of being sexually abused by the pastor–the elders made up a “cover up” lie. They felt a lie would be easier for the congregation to hear than the truth. They announced the pastor had confessed to “sexual impropriety” with “one woman.” Even their lie was outrageous; as if that were a “lesser” offense than what really happened. As truth has a way of doing–coming up to the surface–they’ve had to modify their lie because their lie doesn’t fit the truth.
As a result, many families left the church–some never to return to any church. Two-thirds of the congregation left. Those who remained are still under the lies of the elders. And even though many new people have joined the church since the split, the church remains with lies at its foundation. The elders think they “pulled it off.” “What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.” The elders replaced the firm foundation of their church (God’s word) with a tangled web of deceit. God cannot honor a church built on lies; it’s against his character.
What can anyone learn from what happened? Speaking evil (lies) causes harm. It tears down. But speaking truth–though painful at times–gives opportunity for healing and building up. It brings hope. It restores joy and peace, not only between brothers and sisters, but with God himself.
May we all choose to speak the truth, even if it means we will be humbled, because in doing so we will be honoring God. In return, God will honor those who tell the truth.
I close with these thoughts from King Solomon:
“A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness” (Prov. 15:1,2).
“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life” (Prov. 15:4).
“An evildoer gives heed to false lips; a liar listens eagerly to a spiteful tongue” (Prov. 17:4).
“He who has a deceitful heart finds no good, And he who has a perverse tongue falls into evil” (Prov. 17:20).
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21).
