Miraculous Meeting or Is It That Widespread?
Yesterday my husband took a surfing expedition to his favorite surfing spot. After a few hours riding the waves, he stopped in at his favorite breakfast place. Being alone, he sat at the bar and ordered breakfast. He noticed the lady next to him was reading a Bible. He asked her what book she was reading from, and from there the two struck up a conversation.
Somehow, the conversation turned to clergy sexual abuse. The woman told of how her husband had run off with the pastor of their church, and divorced her. My husband relayed to her how his wife had been sexually assaulted by the pastor of our church. My husband encouraged the woman, and the woman encouraged my husband. Both agreed to be praying for each other. Then they parted ways.
As my husband was telling me about this chance meeting with this woman, several things raced through my thoughts. First, the woman’s husband was a victim of clergy sexual abuse. He had run off with a woman pastor. It’s hard to think that a woman pastor would take advantage of a married man in her congregation. Usually, it’s the other way around. But this does happen. This is the second case that I’ve personally been made aware of. Women pastors can, and do, abuse their power as pastor. And the harm is just as great.
But another thought occurred to me. Was this meeting that my own husband had with this woman just a chance meeting, a miracle, of sorts? I mean, what are the odds? My husband walks into a breakfast dive, sits at the counter, and unbelievably runs into a woman whose ex-husband was a victim of clergy sexual abuse! Was it a miracle meeting?
Then another thought ran across my mind. Could it be that clergy sexual abuse is so widespread, it’s not hard to find people who’ve been affected by it. I’ve thought for a long time we only know the tip of the CSA iceberg.
I think if we knew how widespread clergy sexual abuse really is, we would all stand up to do something about it.
October 26th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
It’s funny that you talk about miracles today. I do believe it was a miracle of sorts that your husband and this woman met. It’s funny how these things happen. I’ve wondered lately if there are women pastors abusing men in their congregations. And then I find your blog entry.
I’ve written a book about clergy misconduct based on my co-author’s true story of what happened to his family after meeting their new pastor who slowly “groomed” his wife, pulling her away from the family and moving into the family unit. I’ve talked with many people about the subject of clergy sexual abuse. It’s truly amazing how many stories are out there.
We need to keep talking about it so that others will recognize the signs before walking blindly into a church and have it happen to them.
I love your website and all the information you provide. Great job! And great blog!
October 26th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
There are certainly many stories out there. So many are the same, and yet they are all individual.
We need to talk about it: tell others it happens; educate others as to how it happens; help those who it happened to; and do all we can to prevent it from happening again.